The goal of every Christian parent in life should not to be to rear a “good kid” or have students who are excelling academically, are great athletes, and so forth.  The goal is to equip our children, these young saints “for the work of the ministry” (Ephesians 4:12, Mark 10:45).  Our goal as Christian parents is to train them to stay on the road of usefulness to God.  If, in the end, they are unusable to Christ, they are not handling life spiritually and wisely, both they and we have failed.

 Twenty-Two Helpful Thoughts on Rearing Children for God

1. Make sure to encourage your children to read biographies and autobiographies of Christians of the past.  As a young Christian I immersed myself in these books and they were a blessing to my life.  We encouraged our children to read these books and it helped them to see how God had worked in other Christian’s lives.

2. Make sure your children hear you pray, and in your prayer let them hear you calling their name to God.  Teach your children how to pray.

3. Make sure you show your children how to do personal devotions and that they see you read the Bible and do personal devotions.  Make sure you read and explain the Bible to your children.  Your personal, intimate, and real spiritual relationship with God will be the most important influence in rearing your children for God.  The second will be conveying to your children the way to have that relationship and for them to have an intimate, personal, passionate relationship with the Lord.

4. The most important thing about rearing spiritual children is for the spiritual parent to get and keep the child’s heart, Proverbs 23:26.  You must pray for this daily and work at it.  Part of getting their heart is to ask questions.  You must make time to communicate.  You must draw out what is in the heart.  Remember that if you lose your child’s heart, find out where you lost it and make every effort to get it back as soon as possible.  Your child’s heart can be lost, hardened, and stolen.  These are the three steps every child takes to rebellion.  ; ; These steps are taken because the parents lose the heart of the child.

5. Make sure you put God first in your life and giving.  Make sure that you explain that all money is God’s money, not just 10 percent.  Make sure that you explain giving to the Lord to your children and that your children see you give to the Lord.  As your children are given money or work for money, make sure they understand that giving begins at an early age.

6. Make sure your children see you submit yourself to the Holy Spirit.  Encourage them to submit themselves to the Holy Spirit.  As the Lord works in your life, it does not hurt these children to see you come forward in a service and submit yourself more fully to God.

7. Make sure you share your personal testimony of salvation with your children.  Tell them how you got saved.  Pray earnestly for your children to be saved and make sure they understand the gospel.  Seek to see your children come to know Christ at an early age.

8. Make sure your children see you give out gospel tracts to others.  Take them on visitation with you.

9. Make sure your children hear you give a clear presentation of the gospel to an unsaved person.  Teach your children how to give that presentation.

10. Make sure your children hear you tell others how much your local church means to means to you.  Make sure they understand the importance of faithful church attendance, I Corinthians 4:2, Hebrews 10:25.

11. Make sure your children hear you and your wife tell each other that you love each other.

12. Make sure your children hear you express gratitude to God for His blessing in your life and family.

13. Make sure you tell your children you love them often and consistently.

14. Make sure you explain Bible truths to your children and make practical application of that truth in the daily activities of life.

15. Make sure you explain the great doctrinal truths of the Bible to your children.  It is very important to explain how the Holy Spirit works in your life.  Explain what it means to be filled (controlled by the Holy Spirit).

16. Make sure you are attending a good sound Bible preaching and teaching church.  Make sure the emphasis of the church is upon growing spiritually, winning the lost, and not activity orientation.  Do not look for a church because of activities it has for children.  Look for a church that has emphasis on teaching spiritual truth to you and your family.  Look for a church that has the ministry of the Word of God as their primary emphasis.  Look for a church that encourages godliness and holy living.  Look for a church that does not have emphasis on ungodly music (music that appeals to the flesh rather than the spirit) such as contemp orary Christian music, southern gospel music, and an overall emphasis on music instead of God’s Word.  Many churches worship youth groups and music rather than God.  (By the way, that is idolatry).  Look for a church that has an emphasis on hymn music.

17. Make sure to guard your children from the worldly television influences, worldly music, and worldly peer and ungodly friendship influences.  Make sure to not allow your children to start concentrating on the opposite sex at an early age.  Make sure you are the most important influence in your children’s lives.

18.  Make sure you live a holy life separate from worldliness, evil, and ungodliness.  Make sure your life is a testimony of holiness not only at church but home as well.  

19.  Make sure your children are educated in a Biblical, Godly, and Christian wholesome atmosphere.  Do not be deceived that educating your children in the world’s system (which is the devil’s system) will not affect your children.

20. Make sure you are seeking to develop Godly Christian character in your children’s lives by proper discipline.  A child must learn to obey the first time.  A child must learn to never be told more than once to obey.  Make sure to discipline correctly and consistently.  Make sure you, as a parent, pay attention and work at proper discipline.  It is your responsibility to teach your child how to concentrate.  Make sure you always discipline improper attitude and reaction.

21.  Make sure that you are not living your life daily in ungodly anger, or the spirit of anger.  Ephesians 4:31-32.  Most parents lose the heart of their children by using ungodly anger on them.  Understand that the Bible says this will fail.  “He that soweth iniquity shall reap vanity: and the rod of his anger shall fail.”  Proverbs 22:8.  Understand that the Bible says ungodly anger comes from pride, Proverbs 21:24.  Many Christians are operating in their daily life under the impression they are in fellowship with God and in reality they are r unning their life in sinful anger out of fellowship with God, I John 1:6-10.  Ungodly anger is deceptive and many Christians are deceived by it, Galatians 6:7-8.  By doing this, we open up our life to the devil and his destruction, I Peter 5:8.  This destruction takes place in our lives, in the lives of our family, and our children.  Th e essence of the Christian life is to be controlled by the Spirit of God, Ephesians 5:18.  We are not controlled by the Spirit of God if we live our life daily in ungodly anger.  Satan is very deceptive and ungodly anger is designed by Satan to destroy your family and your life.  Make sure you understand that “love is kind”, I Corinthians 13:4.

22. Make sure you understand that you have to develop Godly character in the lives of your children.  Their character is their destiny. The Bible gives at least 49 different character traits.  The devil will get interested in their character and your character.  He does not care about you or your children.  He has three desires, “to steal, kill, and to destroy”, John 10:9-10.  Realize you are fighting the devil for your children, I Peter 5:8.  Make sure to have character discussions in your home.  Learn to praise proper character in your children. (This may be the most important point).  Proverbs 27:21.  Generally, we do not praise our children or we praise the wrong things like beauty or achievement, which develops pride.  Praising character in your children develops their accomplishments further without building pride.

Psalm 127:3 “Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord: (means given to us by God for safe keeping for Him) and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

These messages may be copied in their entirety to help Christians in the rearing of their children for God, strengthening their family, and their marriage. They are not to be changed in any manner or to be sold.  This header must be on any copy.  If you have any questions, please feel free to contact the author.

 Dr. Terry L. Coomer is the Pastor of Elwood Bible Baptist Church, and the Director of For the Love of the Family Ministries.  He has also served as the Publisher of the nation’s fastest growing daily newspaper.  Pastor Coomer holds Family Conferences in the local church.  To have a meeting at your church or other needs he may be contacted at (765) 552-1973, tlcoomer@juno.com. There are many helpful articles and material on our web site to help you change your life at www.fortheloveofthefamily.com.  We serve the God of answers.  If you need help finding those answers you may contact us at tlcoomer@juno.com. To be removed from our mailing list send an e-mail to tlcoomer@juno.com.